"Unimaginative. Uninspired. And we were Totally. Bored."

Eek. Remember when Heidi said that to Sweet P? Scary, man. She looked really intense. It was like Sweet P's boredom-causing outfit was about the worst thing that a designer could do to those judges. Yipes. Anyway, we know that Sweet P. is safe, Elisa is auf'd, so let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.


If only we all had a Tim Gunn to shame us into getting out of bed at a decent hour every morning. Waking up would be much more fun. Especially if the day involved tearing candy-shaped pillows apart with people named Sweet P. (Helene, I also noticed how appropriate it was that a tattooed motorcycle chick felt guilty for ripping up stuffed animals, but went ahead with it.)

These designers, as usual when it comes to their Tim Gunn encounters, didn't seem to appreciate the wakeup call. Especially our friend Kit, although I loved seeing that matted mess on the back of her head. Maud and I both know how bleached hair can get in just one magical night: Mat-ted. Like straight up cotton candy on top your head. I also love how Kit is a not a real platinum blonde (no one is) but still talks like one. Me too. I think the hair color gets "in" somehow. Which also explains why people like to mention that Marilyn Monroe was actually smart like it's supposed to be a shock. It's the blonde.

Anyway, in her interview Kit's like, "I have no idea what the next challenge is going to be. The surprises are, like, endless."

Ok she didn't say "like" but it still cracked me up. It reminded me of another interview insight earlier this season when Ricky said he had to show the judges he can make menswear on the menswear challenge.

Speaking of cotton CANDY. I. Loved. this. episode and agree with Elisa: and how can you not want to make things with that sort of like magic magic magic? I will deal with my girl E in my next post.
Stunway Confessional: I've been having second thoughts about the Return of the March. I looove Chris (I mean, how can you not?), but sometimes I think my love has blinded me and I start agreeing with BPR (12/29: The Problem with Chris). I guess if he goes to Bryant Park I will just sort of feel like he was given an extra chance to go to Bryant Park, because he was, and maybe this isn't fair. I don't know. In the spirit of moving on I want to stand by my man, but it will be hard if one of my other faves (Kevin, Rami, Jillian, Victorya, Christian, Sweet P.) goes home first.

Mais Chris, in the far auf chance that you are reading this, je t'aime toujours and still want you to text message me.
Moving on -- the designers looked like mad fools in that candy shop. Mad fools. The crazy circus music Bravo was playing probably didn't help either.
Given their materials, I suppose it makes sense that what eventually came down that runway was a bit ... something. Something ... not all that good-looking. Even though it wasn't the ugliest (I'm sorry, Elisa), Ricky's was my least favorite. The bottom half reminded me of a diaper, and I'm sorry to be gross, but when a diaperish look is also brown, I cannot help but think of poopy poop poop.

"Ok, just don't make a face like you are pooping your pants on the runway. ... Perfect."

But I could really relate to Ricky when he said-- "I think that the mood in the workroom started out like it was going to be a lot of fun, and just great, and we're all having a good time. But I think as time is wearing down people are realizing that to be creative with these kind of materials is harder than people imagine." This man has hit on a profound truth about candy; pounds and pounds of it always seem like a fun, great idea at first, followed quickly by a feeling of total crap.

I really liked Kevin's. As Maud pointed out, it was probably the only truly wearable item up there. But Zac Posen wanted a float, damnit! Is that too much to ask?

"Why is Victorya's model walking like that and WHERE Is my float!!?"

I just found this sweet pic of Rihanna and our boy ZP. They are both so cute.

Sorry designers, my favorite thing on the runway was the adorable skirt that Jillian wore.
Gorgeous. Love it.

More recaps to come. This episode makes me HUNGRY.

I like candy when it's wrapped in a sweater

LOVED this week's Ep! So creative! So unexpected! So delicious! Felt like a return to the caliber of PR we all know and love.

To start, Tim Gunn waking everybody up at the crack of dawn was actually hilarious. Kit looked a hot mess! (No offense sweetie. I live with a bleach blonde. I know that hair can be hard to tame.) She was all like, "I didn't even have a bra on!" LOL! But she pulled herself together in a sleepy looking I-need-to-be-comfortable-to-get-through-this-day kind of way AND was able to create a tres cute, tres "Kit" design.

It's pretty-punk and it looks like real clothes made of fabric, not candy wrappers. Obvi IN.

Rami won his long-awaited second challenge. Well done. His model Sam looked really cute -- her red hair was amazing with the color scheme of candy. And I will give him props for using those peppermint patty wrappers as his skirt fabric. Those little buggers will tear like nobodiesbusiness in my experience. My only complaint about the look is that its too Fanta commercial. Or like crazy Tokyo street fashion. Or something.

Can't you just see her shaking it and yelling "wanna Fanta, dontcha wanna wanna Fanta?" I can.

Moving on. I thought Chris March's outfit was sophisticated and sleek but still fun due to the pop-art influence. As he said, he has the most experience working with non-traditional materials and fantasy, and thus was able to avoid the pitfalls of sewing food. Still IN.

Poor ole' Jillian should have listened to Chris. We all admire her ambition, but using the candy as material for the garment was NOT a requirement of this challenge. If it had been, I think the designers would have been on the factory floor as opposed to the gift shop. Maybe there was something the judges could see on the runway that I couldn't see at home, but IMO her outfit was totally costume-y. If Chris March's last outfit was Paris 1950s hooker, then Jillian's here is Old Wild West saloon hooker. Right? A corset and a fringe skirt??? Michale Kors. Nina Garcia. Heidi! I can't believe you didn't see it!

My favorite this week was Kevin. His outfit was the only one of the bunch that I can see myself wearing. And while his design may not be fantastical and sugar-plumb-y, it does appear to be chocolate-y. And Hershey's is known for chocolate. Mmmmmm.

Kevin used the same brown velvet material Elisa used and yet he was able to create and outfit that was alive, feminine and pretty while hers was strange and sad looking. I can see what she was going for, but clearly it fell short. The one confusing thing was when she was watching her model walk down the runway and looked totally excited and satisfied with her work. That's when I knew for sure that it was her time to be auf.

I must dash out for lunch -- heavy on the vegetables, light on the grilled-cheese-and-fries per my New Years resolution. Back later for my thoughts on the designers in the middle.

Stream-of-Consciousness-Blogging is the New Live-Blogging

Episode 6, as seen from inside the mind of Hélène du Blonde:

I’m sorry wah-hut? Steve was just auf’d last episode? That feels like AGES ago! So 2007.

I love that they use the Elle magazine with Reese on the cover in the intro. My roommates and I still have it on our side table because her hair is so fantastic in that picture. Love Reese.

Kevin’s cubicle buddy is gone. His chest hair remains.

Christian doesn’t care that Steven is out? I am shocked and outraged at his lack of concern for other human beings. That was a lie.

Heidi looks pretty again - Red lips and red shoes! Is this becoming a thing? Her not dressing like a crazy person?

Everyone gets new models because they haven’t been used in forevs. Xtina picks LEA! WTF is UP with Lea. I am not drinking the Lea Kool-Aid quite yet. Her designers haven’t even won a challenge, right? So, why’s she so great? Hey! Sweet P wasn’t picked last!!!!! Way to go! DAH NOT KATIE!!!! SWEET P GODDDD! This is why you deserve to go last! Rami changes – atta boy! My roommate, Katrine, thinks his old model may or may not be a dude. “THAT’S A WIG!!!!” she exclaims. She could be right….

6 a.m. at New Gotham…braless Kit greets her mentor. “I was in my pajamas in front of Tim Gunn, that’s really kind of tragic.” Oy, Kit, your wakeup hair is tragic.

RICKY WITHOUT A HAT! RICKY WITHOUT A HAT! REWIND!

Based on outfit selection, Rami thought this challenge was taking place in a discothèque, and Jillian thought it was on Ork.

Chocolate is magic? Oh, Elisa. You’re like a miniature Buddha. I’ll miss you when you’re auf’d in one to three episodes.

Candy lady says Hershey’s Time Square is the sweetest place in New York. False, that’s Pinkberry.

Amid the piles of chocolate, my mind is drawing parallels between Christian and Veruca.

Back at Parsons, the designers consume candy. Beware the sugar crash, designers! Sugar is poison for the creative juices!

Jillian is the only one using an edible product? Go J Bugg.

Sweet P feels guilty about killing stuffed animals, lives up to adjective in name.

OH MY GOD TRASH CANS OF PEANUTBUTTER CUPS?!??!?!!?!?! XTINAAAAAAH!!!!!! YOU ARE DEAD TO ME!!!!!!!

Elisa has a daughter named Clivey? Could she be more of a hippie? Wait, she got hit by a Porsche? A hippie got run over by a Porsche? It’s okay to laugh at the irony since she’s still alive, right?

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii Rami. You’re pretty.

Katrine and I just giggled for 3 minutes straight about Tim Gunn saying “maxi pad.”

Jillian’s skirt is all Bob Fosse with fructose! J’adore.

“This is both of us; this is us both looking good.” – Lauren, you are my new favorite model. I mean, I didn’t have an old favorite because I kind of hated them all, but you’re leaps and bounds ahead of the pack, for real.

Xtina thinks E’s dress is a “hot mess.” Also compares her sleeves to swimmies. I find this humorous, but refuse to laugh because I am still pissed about the mass Reese cup slaughter that took place 10 minutes ago.

I am so pulling for Jillian and Rami (as always), they did hard shizz and they made it WORK. They are the essence of Project Runway.

Heidi looks pretty AGAIN. That’s 3 in a row! A style turkey! A hat-trick!

That’s Ricky’s first design that I liked. Ever. Oh look! Chris’s looks like Ricky’s upside down!

Kit uses Kit Kats. Vanity through design?

Ooooh, Kevin’s is wearable. I’m glad he listened to Christian on those Reese cup buttons.

Christian, I’m yawning. Your design bores me. All those precious Reese cups wasted in vain. How could you?

Sweet P, ewwwwww. I can’t get past your model’s shoulder bones, is she even wearing a dress?

RAMI!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!

JILLIAN!!!!!!!! DITTO!

What is Victorya’s model doing?????? Posen ain’t buyin’ it. His face is all “Uh uh, Queen Frostine.”

JUDGING:

RAMI - Sam is a good model, very good choice. She looks so pin-up, in a good way. You good Rami, you good. You make MK smile! He normally only smiles when he’s ripping on you! Hey, Rami might win!

ELISA – MK asks, “Where’s the joy?” Posen clears up that he’s referring to, “The joy of candy!” Oh Posen. I wonder how are they going to get those silver shower caps on the armless “fashion graveyard” mannequin…

JILLIAN - Zac likes licorice, red is fantastic. Umm this is not her first red dress, I sense a theme. Judges call her design “chic, sexy, sophisticated, edible.” I think those are all compliments. I’m on Team Jillian. Par regular.

VICTORYA – Ice princess from Dairy Queen is not wearable. You’re on my last nerve, Victorya. THANK YOU Heidi for calling her out on that walk. What was that?! For shiz!

MARCH – MK thinks March’s is a smart editing choice. Nina thinks she can be shot for the pages of Elle. I still think his design looks like Ricky’s upside down.

SWEET P – Sweet P bores again. She made Michael Kors sad :( . That’s an auf-able offense, P. If you pick someone other than Twiggy McZerobodyfat next week, maybe I’ll notice your clothes. IF THERE IS A NEXT WEEK! Sweet burn.

TIMEOUT. Umm…Every commercial is for Reese cups or Wendy’s. THANKS BRAVO. New Years resolutions are tougher right now.

BACK. March is in, J Bugg gets robbed, Rami wins immunity. His was good though, for shiz. Props to my 2 faves, they’ve done it again.

In a sad, ironic twist, the candy challenge leaves the sweetest people in the bottom 2. Sweet P is in, delaying the inevitable til week 7.

Elisa exits speaking another language…literally. Seriously, what is she saying?

She wanders off, feeling fortified.

And so do I.

Bonne nuit.

haiku4mk

wisdom shown through barbs
your skin is orange; your heart, gold
chic is delicious

We're baaaaaack!

Thank goodness the holidays are over and we are back to regular lifestyle and teevee schedule! I truly love seeing family and friends and being festive, but my waistline and my liver have had enough! Hélène! I too have been thinking of the New Year and resolutions (3 cups of green tea already today!!). It really is convenient that New Years comes directly after the holidays. After six weeks or so in total gluttony and indulgence one is ready for Spartan-like living. I wonder how long this feeling will last...

As for my predictions for this evening, I'm not sure I have any deep insights... but for what it's worth: Chris March is probably in danger of being auf (again) IMO and based on some of the previews I've seen, Christian (surprise surprise) is overly confident in his design. And as annoying and sassy as Ricky can be, I think it's Elisa's week to say "auf wiedersehen." ENOUGH of the silly clothes and spacey looks! I admire the spirit of Elisa, but not her designs.

It's bound to be an excellent Ep tonight... in the previews Michael Kors describes one of the outfits as "deliciously chic." I remember a few seasons ago MK was critiquing a designer during the Barbie challenge because there was nothing "deliciously girly" about his outfit. I believe he was talking to Andre, but please correct me if I am wrong mes amis.

Speaking of deliciously girly... here are your favorite bloggers enjoying the New Years festivities:

See you on the runway!

Designers: New year, new you!

Happy new year, friends! The folks at BravoTV.com have checked in with a few of our favorite reality stars (including Jackie, a Dayton City native!) to see what resolutions they're hoping to fufill in the new year. Scope it out to see how good Jeffrey looks!



All this resolution talk got me thinking, it's time we get some resolve out of the 10 remaining designers! Here are my recommendations for how y'all can better yourselves in 2008...

March: Resolve to tone it down and STEP IT UP.

Rami: Try to be sultrier. I KID! That would be IMPOSSIBLE. I love you, you're perfect, don't change. Wait! How about you resolve to make my dress for my brother's wedding? Thanks.

Jillian: Investments are crucial - sink some dollars into a Chi and some speech lessons. This will allow people to focus on how cute you dress(!), rather than your fro and monotone.

Ricardo: Your New Year's resolution MUST be to burn your hat collection. This is non-negotiable.

Victorya: I think they offer free courses in managing conflict. Also in, um, trying not to be so passive aggressive. Just saying.

Kit: Let's see some pistol outta you in 2k8!

Sweet P: Your New Years resolution is to stay sweet! Keep Mean P at bay! Also, to get your button drawn not-last, at least once.

Christian: Invest in a 2008 word-a-day calendar so that you may find an alternate adjective to fierce.

Elisa: Resolutions are all about facing your fears, so, I think, in 2008, you should intimately fit another man. There's more than one flavor of ice cream, E.


Kevin: Please resolve to shed that facial hair. Or I'm bout to bic you myself.

New Episode's Eve