Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Thrilling, huh?

Thrilling indeed, Tim! Last Wednesday was just a treasure, a closet-full of surprises. Who knew Jillian was so good at impressions? Who knew Heidi was so bad at impressions? Christian wins fan favorite? Michael Kors used to wear diaper pants? Rami is hot? Michael Knight still has the braces?

Still has the braces. I heart Michael Knight!

Speaking of Rami. Excuse-moi ... Ramilicious? Doesn't Rami know that if you are the hot one you shouldn't make jokes about, like, being the hot one? Maybe in Israel hot people are just hot. Not in America buddy.

Bahahaa just kidding, Ramilicious totally works for me. Bring it on Rami! Team Stunway accepts your challenge!

Someone else seemed to like Ramilicious as well, Steven. Did anyone else think that was sort of awkward when Steven went on and on about Rami's many "talents"?
Ok, me too! Loved it! Check them out:

"He took a long hard look at my arms and then played golf for a while."

So yes, the reunion show was thrilling. But maybe also a little awkward. A little kooky? A little home-sewn. But c'est la vie of reality TV characters. Soo less funny and much more awkward than your generic sitcom mom and dad. But also why we heart them, and last week, heart them we did.

Um, except for Carmen. Her cardigan attitude was really horrible, and she was edited to look like she had beef to stir-fry with anyone who had ever claimed to be associated with Season 4. To her credit, it must kind of suck to watch your friends-in-quotes say things like "thank GOD it wasn't us and instead that genie-pants-making lady went home." But honestly, Carmen ... baditude-- not a good look for you!

Another great moment was when Sweet P was like, "My favorite part is that I'm now more famous than Brad Pitt."

Oh honey. More famous? Try as famous as. That's closer to the truth by at least 0 percent.

Also loved seeing Michael Kors lose it. I think it's safe to say that if Traver Rains or any other part of Heatherette is looking at you like you're a fool, something really crazy is going on.

[Ridiculous designer looks at Michael Kors as though Michael Kors is the ridiculous one.]

Yes, there were so many great, happy moments throughout this season. But I didn't see the point in replaying, almost in their entirety, the most memorable bits. Who needed to see Chris March and Rami in the last episode again? Ok maybe my baby boomer mom (forgets things). But for most of us, these moments are memorable because we already REMEMBERED them already. Also, where was Heidi during the meeting when they decided that the best way to get the party started was with a depressing trip down Jack's worst nightmare lane? I don't blame him for groaning.

Next time Bravo, more montages of Kevin resisting homosexuality, Elisa being Elisa, and Jillian Lewis impressions... less of total sadness and misfortune.
"Honey, I gayed myself."

Someone call the Screen Actors Guild!

This reunion show also proved that the Wendy Pepper era on Project Runway is over. These designers are as freakishly altruistic as they have ever been, and seem to have a sense of, like, fairness or something. Weird. Marion, Jack, Sweet P, Kevin-- I half expected them to say that if they hadn't been kicked off, they would have sent themselves home just because it would have been the right thing to do. Maybe when one is more famous than Brad Pitt, there is no reason for bitterness. Only hope and laughter and smelling the roses from Marion's boutique.

That's all for now, little lambs. Can't want to see what sets off Tim Gunn's gag reflex tonight!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


Sweet P, I think you're great. Out of all the designers, you're probably the only one I'd really like to pick up on a Saturday to get a cup of coffee and go to Forever21. It'd be fun! We'd try on $7 tops and tell each other that it's not us that are out of place in there -- we will look faboo in our sequined cardigans. It's all those dang 12 year olds who look ridiculous. Sounds awesome, right? But I digress.

This week, your look was supposedly inspired by this:

But the outcome

to me, it was a little bit more like THIS:

with a dash of:


Not exactly what I'd like the designers at Forever21 to be copying off the runway for me to buy at a fraction of the price/quality a half season later.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

"I love very much."

In the immortal words of Roberto Cavalli, this episode, I love very much. Not the most dramatic or surprising hour of our lives, but classic Project Runway for sure. Jillian has panic attack, thinks she will be auf'd, is safe. Chris March naps, makes identical dress to a prior challenge, wins heart of Italian with dramatic flare. Rami is stubborn, does not listen to Tim, refuses to turn off the part of his brain that chants "drape drape drape," makes sophisticated dress, is chastised for it, is forgiven. Sweet P is sweet, not good enough, cries, America loves her. Christian loves his outfit, finishes early, annoys other designers, wins challenge, is, in general, pretty fierce. Guest judge is unintentionally hilarious, Michael Kors is intentionally hilarious, Heidi is Heidi, Nina Garcia wants to see "more from you."

What can I say. Je l'aime toujours.

On Ram: Exhibit A:

From Drapes of Wrath:
Another field trip! Did you know instantly what wing you would use?
Honestly no. I spent an equal amount of time in each wing, taking every painting and piece of art in very seriously. In the end after realizing that the other three designers picked the same theme, I decided to go with the Roman wing because I saw so much beauty in every piece. There was a strong connection there.

Hmmm. Exhibit B:

"I'm worried."

"Drape. It is what I do."

Lying is clearly not Rami's strong suit. He spent the entire episode confessing to and defending his drapery obsessions, and I think someone even filmed him saying something like, "I knew right away which gallery I would choose." The following photo is further evidence that Rami sooo knew what he was going to do, he didn't even need a camera to help him remember. All that draping is locked safe in his beautiful arms, I mean head.

Rami's like "cameras are for the indecisive- just throw mine in that pool, bitches."

But, JUST as the Bard predicted, the judges weren't picking up what he was draping down, and he was almost sent home for doing-- as he has told us 1 million times-- what he loves to do and does best!! Would have been totally tragic, so I'm glad he's in for now. I am still pretending that the final collections are not available for the whole world to see ahead of time on Bravotv.com, however, many a little bird has told me Rami will probably win the final spot. We shall see. I mean, Roberto Cavalli wanted to send Chris March to haute couture land, maybe Nina and Michael Kors will want to send him to the land of $100,000 and 2008 Saturn Astras.

Speaking of Roberto Cavalli. Lord have mercy that was maybe my favorite 10 minutes of television ever. What is better than listening to an old man speak broken English with a heavy Italian accent? Niente.

And touché, RC. Peacock tail? Poor Sweet P. Only designer to actually get auf'd. But honestly what was that? She made her model look like a pepper shaker from Pier 1.

She also had to endure Christian's weekly ritual of annoying his fellow contestants after sewing faster than 10 women at a Nike factory. Plenty of time left over for critiquing, arm-wrestling, praising his own work and taking pictures of himself.

He's even trained his model to annoy Sweet P in his absence.

But no doubt the man knows what he's doing. With two days, or 1 day and two half days, he could probably make extras from Robin Hood Men in Tights look fierce. Go and get your money lil' duffle bag boy.

I also really loved Jillian's entire look. She is my new favorite and I would like to one day buy her clothes at Steve and Barry.

Lambs, I'm auf to Target avec Maud for hair dye, trash bags and tights.

Congrats to the remaining designers. Looking forward to all the Final Four March Madness on NBC and its affiliates.

If you can't quit Bravotv.com cold turkey

There's always Bravot.com.

Where I accidentally went today. Kind of scary.

Recap coming shortly, biddies.

Friday, February 15, 2008

It's a walk-off.

Don't you just love inspiration challenges? In seasons past, they've generated such masterpieces as Daniel V's orchid dress and Jay McCarroll's Chrysler building homage. But, man, if I were a contestant on PR4, I would feel eeeeever-so-slightly jipped. Because come on, season 3's top five went to Paris! Like, the one in France, guys. But Season 4, well...

Umm...the Upper East Side is the new Left Bank?

Now, a confession. For the first time ever, in my life....

I. Missed. An ep.

Oui. C'est vrai. But, as the PR producers have repeatedly denied my request for a 9pm air-time, my laryngitis and I had to pass out pre-show this week. I awoke from my NyQuil coma to several text messages, each of which consisted of only 3 letters:

"OMG" ... "YAY" ... "WTF"

My interest was peaked, to say the least. So last night, I finally settled down to find out what all the fuss was about. Turns out, um, those texts were pretty much dead on...

Christian really is spectacular, isn't he? I mean, jeebus, how did he even do that in two days?! And Jillian, well, shock of all shocks, I liked hers best. I know that as the captain of Team Jill, I'm totally biased, BUT....Seriously, give it up! Her dress was fierce. Plus, the lining in the jacket...as Heidi said... "POW!" Admit it, you kind of loved it.

Aaaaand not surprisingly, Sweet P's creation was, well...yikes, what was that? I guess the dress wasn't really that bad (false, I think it was, but apparently, the fashion world condones anything that kind of looks Prada). Still, the styling choices, and by that, I mean the feathers, were heinous. I get where she was going but, per ush, the execution was off. Sweets was beyond out of her league at this point, so, much as I adore her, her time had come, mes amis.

Pretty sure Rami's time had come too, but....

You know the producers were sitting there like, "Umm....merde." Obviously they couldn't let Chris March into the Top 3, because, HELLO! HE GOT KICKED OFF ALREADY! But they also couldn't shoo Rami in when all he offered up was a purple sparkly version of his usual shtick. So, instead, they've chosen to present us with, dare I say it, a walk-off! But, come on Bravo, we know Rami's gonna win. (Seriously, we've all peeked at the collections here. We really, really know Rami's gonna win.)

But, my man Roberto was right - CMarch's couture was awesome. However, that crazy Italian was missing one thing the rest of the judges possessed: perspective. And damnit, they were right. Cah-riiiiiis! You made that dress already! It's gorgeous, to be sure, but you had to know Nina was gonna call you out on your lack of originality. It's kind of her thing, friend.

Overall, I thought the top 4 did pretty well for themselves. And no matter how much I complain about one-trick-ponies and remanufactured silhouettes, the end result of Episode 11 was this...

So, I mean, d'accord.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Ginormous Hat and Blinders: On

Gah! Ok, this is probably super old news to anyone who has not been hiding under a fake, decorative rock from Ikea this week, but Warning: do NOT visit Bravotv.com, in particular the link that says "Fashion Week 2008," if you want the rest of Season 4 to be any sort of surprise. I know it's not very Internetey of me, but I repeat: If you do not want to see Sweet P holding a microphone at Fashion Week or, more importantly, her ENTIRE collection-- do not do the deed! (Unless you're into previews. Then, by all means, you know where to do that thang mane: www.bravotv.com.)

Recap Time!

I love love loved last week's episode. Anyone with a penchant for sparkly, tacky, over-the-top, semi-slutty clothing knows that there are far too few occasions when green leopard velour is not only not a disaster, but expected and duly rewarded! I know this all too well. Last year I visited my long-distance boyfriend in Ohio, and it was not until I tried to get dressed for like, breakfast or something that I realized I had put together a wardrobe that would only be appropriate if I was going to some sort of non-stop nighttime party. Maybe OK in Alaska for that part of the year when the sun never comes up, not so much for the middle of Ohio in May. Practical is all well and good, but over-the-top impractical is much more fun and harder to get right (or wrong, if you're more of a Tim Gunnist).

I mean, wouldn't the world be a happier place if there were more ridiculous outfits? Let them wear Heatherette! Plenty of time to be boring when you're dead or working in an office in Washington, D.C.

I mean look at these faces.

Such joy and happiness.

But I don't think our Tim Gunn would agree, which isn't surprising at all, only worrying because anyone with an ounce of sense should agree with Tim Gunn all the time, on all subjects. He seemed more worried than usual during his regularly scheduled "I'm worried" counseling sessions, especially with Rami and Sweet P, for obvious reasons.

"Can I be blunt? I'm worried."

"I don't want this horrible, tacky, ridiculous, terrible challenge to be your downfall. I'm worried."

Wow, Tim tell us how you really feel. I guess we can't blame a man whose book is called A guide to quality, taste and style.

Or can we?




How can something so wrong look so right? Looooove it.

But not everyone got it wrong in the right sort of way. Although I'm glad to see Ricky go home (what was that gold thing? she looked like a mini-fridge), I agree with Nina and sort of liked his orange 1 piece as a bathing suit... it reminds me of a Michael Kors suit I bought at Loehmann's that is, frankly, pretty bossy. MK even said, "Let's be honest, it's not like I've never seen that suit before." That's because he designed that suit, only in green, and I HAVE IT. yay.

It's lucky for Rami and Sweet P that Michael Kors Fashion Designer has wanted to send Ricky back to Victoria's Secret from the first. Their models looked bad. bad. bad. Bad.

Sweet P's was more like ... robe and reveal how much your outfit also looks like a bathing suit but not even a very cute one?

And Rami's. Lord have mercy. When his model walked down the runway I was like, oh no she is not walking like that! That thing would have looked a hot mess even in taupe, so blaming it on his wild color choice doesn't hold up either. Let's see that one more time.

Oh yeah. That's pretty bad.

All right lambs, I'm out. See you on the Stunway.

(p.s. I also apologize for the tardy recap: Redecorating efforts in my bedroom have taken over my life, and I forgot for 2 seconds that I have a blog, the subject of which is about to come to a critical point! Literally! SO EXCITED OhmyGoshImGonnaDie.)