Project Stunway

Friday, January 11, 2008

Come ON, Eileen!

I think the designers and judges must have been too wasted at their own proms to remember what they were actually like. And how can we even go forward if we disagree on what the definition of "prom is" is?

Prom, at least in Dayton Ohio, is glam, it's fabulous, it's important, it's serious. It's the end of childhood (for three months until college). It is the funeral for pep rallies, popularity contests, and fake student government. It is why freshman girls make out with senior boys. It is how to say "I'm gay but still in the closet to my parents" with style. Prom is an up-do that requires an entire bottle of hair spray. It is one of the last times you will ever dance to "Come on Eileen" that is not at a wedding!

Whatever prom is, it is not Homecoming or a night on the town with the girls. It is not a text message that says, "It's New Year's Day, I just woke up at a stranger's house, let's meet for breakfast at our favorite place," which is sort of what Victorya's dress says to me. Either that, or Homecoming. The hair, the shoes, the bubble skirt ... It just doesn't say "we've been dating for three months, I want to marry you, take my virginity now." Goo. It also sort of looks like something you can buy at the Forever 32 at Pentagon City (Hélène, agreed).

Buuut ... I still love Victorya, and unfair as it is, I would rather her have immunity than sweet Sweet P, who actually made a prom dress, bless her heart. If anything, P's is too fancy, but that's still better than not fancy enough. P's model is like, "As your prom queen, I will ban skinny freshmen hos from the prom, forever."

Chris March, bless his drag queen heart, who even admits to not having been to prom, made the cutest dress up there. His model looked fancy and tres adorable, and maybe prom-ier than Sweet P's.
Also that girl's mom was cracking me up. "That's you!!??" hahahaaaa... *tear*

Go ahead girl!

Rami's ....aeahhhhh.... not so promi. Same goes for Jillian's and Kit's dresses. All three of their models looked too old, too conservative, or too casual. Based on the two seconds of their personalities we saw on the runway and in the workroom, these girls seemed like they wanted to have fun at their prom, not go to a cocktail party at their boss's house.

Whew. So many mistakes, so little time to blog while also trying to do my full-time day job.

Overall though, who am I kidding, I loved this episode. I REALLY loved that the girls got to look at each designer's portfolio before choosing. So cute! When they first came out Maud and I were worried it was going to be a 'who is always picked last for kickball' situation, so thankfully the producers knew to avoid that. But they couldn't protect lil' Victorya from the frankness of teenagers, thank God, because that exchange was hilarious.

V: "So, did you want to work with me because my portfolio is so fierce or what?"
HSG: "Actually I had last pick."

Bahahahaha!

Au revoir pour maintenant mon petite lamb chops. Stay tuned for Maud's psychological evaluation of Christian's model.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Auf like a prom dress!

At first, I was really, really ridiculously excited about this challenge. I mean...it's prom, people! What's not to love? But alas, le sigh, I was disappointed....and I'm afraid the problem with this episode, much like the resulting designs, lies in the execution. The producers and designers BOTH underperformed! How do I mean? Well, if we're going to have to outfit a bunch of high school students, do they have to be from Jersey? Aren't there, like, a bunch of fancy prep schools in Manhattan to choose from? I've seen Cruel Intentions, so I feel confident that I know what I'm talking about here. But make-it-work is the name of the game, so that's what you kids should've done. Few were successful, and I was left feeling very...what's the word...underwhelmed.

That said, I guess I got what I asked for in this episode - AN OPINION. Sweet Moses do I have some opinions on these designs. First of all, I am wicked pissed that Victorya won. WICKED pissed. Her dress sucked MAD hard, yo. Ugh, sorry, the Jersey is seeping into my brain! What I mean to say, is that I am frustrated, disappointed, and unimpressed by her creation. I hate bubble skirts, almost as much as I hate bubble shirts, but I don't hate aaaanything as much as I hate bubble shirts. (False. Leggings. Ohmigod - mental image of leggings paired with long bubble shirt! Aaaaaaah!) Anyway, I know the judges thought Kevin's design looked cheap, but I thought Torya's dress looked cheapER - like something I would see at Forever, pause to think "ew," then head over to Nordstrom where I belong. Moreover, who would wear that to PROM?! I don't claim to know what the kids are doing these days, but according to Newport Harbor, this is still a somewhat-dressy occasion, n'ect-ce pas?

And since I've already taken a turn to negative town - Ricky, ew! Ew ew ew! That color is NOT prom, those beads are fug, and do those shoes serve an orthopedic function? Why would you put grandma's heels on a high school senior? Sadly, par regular, your lackluster performance was enough to get you noticed, but not to get you nixed.

Which raises an interesting question...

What's the more auf-able offense: Consistent mediocrity, or one-time disappointment? It's clear how the judges feel from the fact that Kevin, once at the top of their list, was sent packing this week. True, his dress was disgusting. But was it that much more disgusting than Ricky's? And shouldn't it make an impact on the judge's decision that Ricky sucks? Well, I hope they factor that in pretty soon, because, if not, welcome to Fashion Week, Ricardo!

Of course it wasn't all tacky beading and unfinished hems. It mostly was, yes, but there were little glimmers of fierce sprinkled in every now and again. For instance: I actually loved Rami's dress. MK's right, that color was very 35-year-old-dinner-date, but had he done that number in slate instead of olive, well he'd be immune and I'd be happy. In my opinion, they were way too hard on the age of his outfit - same with Sweet P! We're not letting people win now because they're designs are TOO sophisticated?! Nina, this is prom, did you hear??? The kids dress fancy for that! Plus, what is so awful about not looking 17 when you're 17? When my daughter looks at my prom pictures someday she is going to think "Moooom! Lame!" (Who could blame her? I am just covered in sparkles.) But had I chosen something sleek, like Sweet P or Rami's offerings, well I might have saved myself from future embarrassment at the hands of my hypothetical teenager.

Not surprisingly, my favorite outfit, once again, belonged to Jillian. Not her sea-foam creation. (What are you, nuts?! The fit on that thing was total crap.) No no, I'm referring to her yellow dress at the runway show! Also, her pink skirt in the beginning! Jillian is still my number one - just as long as she keeps the cute outfits and self-deprecating hair comments a'comin.

Takeaways from this week's episode? Well I've come out of week 7 a little more frustrated with Ricky et Vicky, a little more in love with Rami, and lastly, a little more bleak about the future:

Chris March: "What do you guys wanna do when you grow up??"
School Girl 1: "Absolutely nothing!"
School Girl 2: "Public relations!"

Ooooh, nation.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

It's Gonna Be (Ra) Me

I'd be lying if I said I hadn't planned on doing this since day one....

This isn't my favorite season of Project Runway, but I'm definitely impressed with these designers. They appear to be excellent people with a crapload of talent. Every episode is like a giant lovefest of tears, joy, cardigan attitudes, and passive-aggressiveness. I'm sort of surprised that the producers haven't drawn a Hitler mustache on a photo of someone's daughter yet just to stir the pot, because the drama may be at a low-point. I should say, the evil drama: obviously Jack's departure was pretty intense. Christian sometimes seems a bit ... soulless, but even his arrogance is harmless, and the most evil thing about him is definitely his hair. Whatever we have lost in the TV drama department, we can gain back 1 million fold by remembering what the world would be like if 1 out of every 16 designers were like Wendy Pepper.

Perhaps more than anyone, Elisa Jimenez exemplified the cardigan attitude that has been the theme of Season 4 (except for that unfortunate fight between Ricky and Carmen and Ricky and Victorya). I admire her humble spirit and insane self-control (refusing to intimately fit her male model) and will miss seeing her each week! If the other designers have imbibed Elisa's humility and grace, it makes sense that she appears to have imbibed some of Tim Gunn's wisdom as well:

"I feel fortified in what most people would consider a very unusual way. This experience has evolved my whole time here. Everybody contributed to helping me grow in a way that will fortify my work for the rest of my life. They were the true judges, and I passed that test. I feel extremely graced and blessed to move forward in just making work, and making it all work, all the time."

Hahahaha! Make it work all the time, E! Much love from Project Stunway.

Very cool Elisa Jimenez interview with Buddy TV here: "Like, I'm a maker, I make things."