Austin Scarlett sells bagillion dollar wedding dress tonight on Real Housewives of the Nouveau Riche I mean Orange County

Hahahaha her daughter's like, "Austin Scarlett who's that?"

Umm DUH. Austin Scarlett, Beautiful Clothes maker from Season 1 of Project Runway. Anyway, from this preview it's not clear that Lauri (real housewife, getting married to "George" in "10 weeks" which seems like plenty of time to me, but what do I know, apparently it's not a lot of time) actually picks a dress based on her AS consult. We shall see.

Alls I know is I will watch any show where Austin Scarlett twirls around thousands of dollars worth of fabric and then says, "I can just see you like craving more glamour."

Speaking of craving more glamour, I never really got why Nina and MK kept saying that AS's clothes were "so beautiful" like it was a bad thing. I mean, do people tell Heidi Klum that she is "too beautiful"? Actually they probably do because she is.
Austin's site cracks me up. "Life Story." That's just awesome. I read the whole thing. This is from his most recent collection. (More on www.austinscarlett.com.)

BREAKING: KATIE ANNOUNCES HUNGER STRIKE UNTIL SWEET P WINS CHALLENGE.

I mean, that has to be true, right?
How else would you explain this...

Week One:

Week Two:

Week Four:EEEEEEK! Is anyone else petrified for week, like, twelve?!

Jeebus, Sweet P, make it work already!

Take me to your leader

Dahlings. So sorry for the delay in my post from last week's ep. My love for PR is everlasting but we've been "taking a little break" from each other. After some space, I'm ready to let PR back in the house and talk about what happened last week.

To begin. I LOVED the challenge! IMO, team RickyVictoryaElisa had the best of the "don'ts" to work with. Neon, underwear as outerwear and cut-outs. I mean... these "don'ts" are great -- you have no automatically ugly/dated shape like with sholder pads or poodle skirt. The possibilities were endless for making something adorable AND how fortuitous to have a lingerie designer on your team! That being said, your end result was disappointing.

This:

reminds me...

of this:

The above American Apparel dress is appropriately named the "Figure Skater Dress" and the skirt on it looks (to my untrained eye) exactly like the skirt on Victorya's dress except the AA one is better. Blah. I don't know anyone besides Marthe who wants to look like a figure skater.

Victorya, Victorya, Victorya. Beyond the meh skirt on your dress, what is up with your v. v. bad attitude my dear? I'm sure I would have been just as cranky if I were on a team with Ricky and Elisa, but you are on Project Runway and you have to make it work. I think you had the potential to be a great team leader, but YOU WERE NOT THE TEAM LEADER! I appologize for raising my voice, but sister, if you really were "glad to have someone else step up to the plate" as leader, you sure as hell didn't show it. AND btw, Ricky saved your ass at the last minute by advising you to let in some room for your model's boobs. Good thing you finally listened to him or you would have had a fugly boddice to go with your fugly skirt. Poor Elisa was just along for the ride.

Upon reflection, I've found that I actually have really mixed feelings about the group/leader challenges. My first thought is that it's a bad deal for whoever is the leader, since in nearly every instance, it's been the team leader who gets cut. HOWEVER, I do think that the judges are right when they say teamwork and leadership are essential to success in the fashion industry. Being a leader really is an opportunity to show the world (i.e. Michael Kors, Nina Garcia, Heidi Klum) that you have what it takes. Wouldn't it be fabulous to see someone really tackle the team leader position with enthusiasim and energy rather than dread and trepidation?

Jillian seems to have been one of the more successful team leaders we've seen in recent memory. It certainly helps that she had some really talented and calm teammates, but she also had difficult, imo,"don'ts:" overalls, poodle skirt and 70's flare. Sacre bleu! How do you combine these?!! But with only some mildly annoying and passive-aggressive jabs at Kevin, she steered her team to victory. Is Jillian the new Victorya?

Mais non. I still hate that 'fro.


In other PR news, Heidi Klum made a cameo appearence in a dream I had last night. She measured me and told me I was "not too fat" in a voice that told me she really did think I was too fat. Booo. That's what I get for eating too much brie this weekend -- a scolding from Heidi. I'm off to get a boring salad. I'll be back and posting later with my predictions for Wednesday.

Hellooooo, lover.

Welcome back to work, kids! Everybody enjoy their weekend? Did you get to take in "The Hills Movie?" Umm...twice? ME TOO! It really was nice of MTV to plan that for the afternoon after Marthe et Maud's holiday party - what prime hangover viewing. Speaking of the MusicTeleVision Network - here's last week's 60 second recap to get your head back in the PR game:

• MTV
• Music Videos
• MTV Shows
• Entertainment News

Now that we're caught up...a STUPENDOUS FANTASY UPDATE:

They say a picture is worth a thousand words...or, in this case, 26 points. Meet the ep4 team:

If you paid any attention to last week's episode, you know that my Dream Team kicked some serious booty...so it is with tremendous joy that I announce: Team DanielVosovicShouldveWon has taken home the TOP honors in this week's fantasy Project Runway! Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta. The only troubling note is that there was, of course, a 56-way tie for first...and I have somehow been assigned to 17th place. Psh, seventeen shmeventeen! DVSW is number one in my heart...way to make it work loves!

I'm sure you've all seen the prev's for next week, and are likely scared shnikeless about all the focus on Jack. Luckily, we all know that he is healthy, fabulous, and dating a Top Chef now, so we don't have to worry too much. But from what we've seen (SPOILER!), it looks like he developed an infection during filming...one that's likely to keep him out of this challenge, or even the rest of the season?! I certainly hope JackMack isn't auwt of the competition for good, he is way too talented and adorable to have his journey cut short! Stay tuned amigos, stay tuned...

Finally, in somewhat-PR-related news (okay well it's not really but it's SO exciting, and SJP was a guest judge, so whatevs), THE SEX AND THE CITY TRAILER IS UP!!!! Gasp! Never has one piece of video provided so little information with so much excitement. Now I understand how all those silly boys felt about the Star Wars previews...

I can hardly keep my composure over here! Enjoy!

Million shoulder-pad March

Chris March's auf'ing was, to me, the saddest auf'ing since Austin Scarlett. We didn't get to see all that he could do, and I really loved his sweet personality. Plus he looked so sad up there! I've always had a suspicion that team challenges are evil, and here is our proof. Bravo you are KILLING me with the team challenges. Please make the rest of this season "work" by making it stop. Case in point Numba 1: In my opinion, Sweet P. and Stephen totally bossed Chris March into the team leader position, which was obviously for two reasons: they noticed they were in a three-person team, and they had seen a certain show on TV before called PROJECT RUNWAY. Fortunately for them, Chris March had apparently not caught this show, which I will now call, Project which-team-leader-is-going-home-tonight. Also why I heart CM. He probably thought he was on Project Runway, not Project which-team-leader-is-going-home-tonight.

ANYWAY, clearly he was an innocent lamb, tricked by the feigned confidence of his teammates into the lion's den that is 'team leader' on Project Stunway; his only sin -- choosing the shoulder pads trend -- also forced on him in what were, little did he know, his final hours. Oh Chris. And then, because we weren't afraid enough for him, he opened up a Morton's salt container and poured it directly on our papercuts: "I'm excited to be team leader because I can show everyone that I am a great designer and deserve to be here."

That's not a direct quote, people, I will have to wait for another re-run. Buuuuut you heard him too, don't lie. Maud Vrais-Bleu thinks he said, "It's my time to shine," but I think she's making that up.

If anything, Chris March should feel good that he went out on a dumb challenge. I mean, it could be argued that he WON for really listening to the judges. They asked him to make something ugly, and he did.

Dans autre news, Kit explains her philosophy of life on PR, as well as why she chose Jack & Christian LaCroix for her teammates; and they are the same. “... Because they are both so much fun and that’s why I'm here.” I thought she was there to be "America's next top American designer." Did Kara Saun have fun? Did Jay? Did Daniel V.? I guess they had a little bit of fun. But they also seemed more serious than (i.m.o.) Ricky (badittude), Sweet P. (who Jeffrey S. had to convince to try out), and Christian LaCroix (who is already a famous designer).
Speaking of team Fun-- what is going on with Jack in those previews for Episode 5? Does anyone have any speculation? MVB warned me not to take the previews too seriously, but in spite of their recent behavior (team challenges), I cannot think the producers would try to deceive us THAT dramatically. I mean, Jack is sobbing. I'm guessing it's not because Laura accused him of cheating. What is going on?

What's going on is "I'm so hood" is playing WAY too loud on my radio. BRB.
Ok. That's better.
America, meet Jillian.
Our girl Jillian rose up from the ashes like a Ralph Lauren Phoenix and really got the last laugh there with those overalls. When they were choosing their trends I was like, thaaaat's embarrassing ... couldn't Nina have warned her?! But Jillian seemed to take it in stride. Probably because if she hadn't chosen the overalls, Tim would've said, "sooomeone's in denial." Mais non. Note to Jillian: I have a pair of Tommy Hilfiger overalls that Tim Gunn would definitely make me throw out, but I like to think were urban chic back in the day (1998). That blouse was awesome. You go girl. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back to Project Stunway.
I have no words for this team. The only thing they proved is that Ricky is definitely going to be in the bottom 2 for the entire season until he's allowed to go to Fashion Week, where he will be the worst, again.

Welcome to Parsons High...

Home of The Fighting Divas!

My oh my, Episode 4 really flipped da script, as the kids say. This week kicked off with a bitchfest from Ricky as my boyfriend, Jack, "stole" the only hot model. Correct me if I'm wrong, Dick, I mean Ricky...but didn't you steal her from Elisa in the first place? Simmer donna, this is a competition (for you as well)! Then the designers made their way to the workroom, where Nina T. Fashiondirectorofellemagazine stood waiting to deliver the challenge. Each designer was asked to choose a fashion don't from the likes of pleather, fringe, shoulder pads (vom), and so on, before scurrying off into teams of 3. Given the high-school-gym-class fashion in which this task was performed, it's no surprise that the resulting teams mirrored cafeteria lunch tables (a la Mean Girls). Get ready to meet.....


The Over-Acheievers (Jillian, Rami and Kevin): Models of technical excellence, always diligently focused on the task at hand. They're in a class all their own...like...AP Project Runway. And they're obviously Heidi's favorite.


The Cool Kids (Christian, Jack and Kit): Or should I say Karen, Gretchen and Regina? They're the team everyone wants to be! Remarkably tattooed, constantly laughing, and beautifully unatainable, they came together because Kit wanted to work with "the fun people." Us too, Kit. Us too.


The Misfits (Chris March, Sweet P, and Steven): Otherwise known as the flamboyant theater major, the motorcycle chick, and the...well...I don't know what the eff Steven is, but that alone classifies him as a misfit. No one understands them! Not you, not me, and certianly not Michael Kors.

The Foreign Exchange Students (Ricky, Victorya and Elisa): Hailing from Mexico, Korea, and planet SpitMark, they're all speaking their own language in the workroom. Luckily, Ricky was a cheerleader-turned-modern-dancer, so he's able to translate.

The interaction amongst teams was quite compelling. I, like Nina (and probably the rest of America), was surprised by Victorya's personality. Vic said she didn't wanna be a "bossy cow," but then...mooooo! She tried to tell a lingerie designer it's best to just flatten the crap out of a woman's boobs! Oy, those two fought so much they made Elisa look sane. Team March, too, was a train-wreck from the get-go. I thought they said they were leaving the grandmother's-couch-fabric at Mood, but they def threw some upholstery up on that runway. I would've loved to see Squints go instead of Chris (so thanks to Sweet P for trying), but that's the way it is when you're the leader of Team Fug. Le sigh.

Even more intriguing than the team dynamics that flopped were the ones that flourished. Team Star?! Bahahahahahaha! Wait! When did I start loving Christian? I don't know how or why...but damnit, he's okay by me. His best moment was in the design studio when Timmy G gave their creation the proverbial thumbs up, and Xtian sent him off with a "Thanks Timmmmm...loveyabye!" Very Regina Green. And then, there's my Dream Team: Rami, Jillian and Kevin. What sweet vindication for Jillian to win this challenge by re-vamping the fashion "don't" that she, herself, was sporting. But, although I love her fashion (overalls included - come on, the belt was cute), that girl is screeeaaaaming for a makeover. If I could just pull a Clueless and get her to the TRESemmé studio for 30 minutes, I know there's nothing wrong with her that a Chi flat-iron and a little bronzer couldn't fix. Anyway, she's a great designer...I told you, bitches! And coming down the runway, I LOVED the nouveauveralls Team J made (the pic doesn't do it justice). I mean like loved them to the point where I am praying they really do come back so I can wear them soon. And the shirt they paired with it was freaking adorable. I agree with the judges - this winner was clear. So congratulations, Team Jillian...A+++ for you.

Not sure about Ricky, but I do have a Marion Barry prediction

Last night I had a dream that Marion Barry, the 2nd and 4th mayor of Washington, DC, was a guest judge on Project Stunway. I wonder what that means.


Booooo team challenges!