Thursday, December 6, 2007

Welcome to Parsons High...

Home of The Fighting Divas!


My oh my, Episode 4 really flipped da script, as the kids say. This week kicked off with a bitchfest from Ricky as my boyfriend, Jack, "stole" the only hot model. Correct me if I'm wrong, Dick, I mean Ricky...but didn't you steal her from Elisa in the first place? Simmer donna, this is a competition (for you as well)! Then the designers made their way to the workroom, where Nina T. Fashiondirectorofellemagazine stood waiting to deliver the challenge. Each designer was asked to choose a fashion don't from the likes of pleather, fringe, shoulder pads (vom), and so on, before scurrying off into teams of 3. Given the high-school-gym-class fashion in which this task was performed, it's no surprise that the resulting teams mirrored cafeteria lunch tables (a la Mean Girls). Get ready to meet.....


The Over-Acheievers (Jillian, Rami and Kevin): Models of technical excellence, always diligently focused on the task at hand. They're in a class all their own...like...AP Project Runway. And they're obviously Heidi's favorite.


The Cool Kids (Christian, Jack and Kit): Or should I say Karen, Gretchen and Regina? They're the team everyone wants to be! Remarkably tattooed, constantly laughing, and beautifully unatainable, they came together because Kit wanted to work with "the fun people." Us too, Kit. Us too.


The Misfits (Chris March, Sweet P, and Steven): Otherwise known as the flamboyant theater major, the motorcycle chick, and the...well...I don't know what the eff Steven is, but that alone classifies him as a misfit. No one understands them! Not you, not me, and certianly not Michael Kors.


The Foreign Exchange Students (Ricky, Victorya and Elisa): Hailing from Mexico, Korea, and planet SpitMark, they're all speaking their own language in the workroom. Luckily, Ricky was a cheerleader-turned-modern-dancer, so he's able to translate.

The interaction amongst teams was quite compelling. I, like Nina (and probably the rest of America), was surprised by Victorya's personality. Vic said she didn't wanna be a "bossy cow," but then...mooooo! She tried to tell a lingerie designer it's best to just flatten the crap out of a woman's boobs! Oy, those two fought so much they made Elisa look sane. Team March, too, was a train-wreck from the get-go. I thought they said they were leaving the grandmother's-couch-fabric at Mood, but they def threw some upholstery up on that runway. I would've loved to see Squints go instead of Chris (so thanks to Sweet P for trying), but that's the way it is when you're the leader of Team Fug. Le sigh.

Even more intriguing than the team dynamics that flopped were the ones that flourished. Team Star?! Bahahahahahaha! Wait! When did I start loving Christian? I don't know how or why...but damnit, he's okay by me. His best moment was in the design studio when Timmy G gave their creation the proverbial thumbs up, and Xtian sent him off with a "Thanks Timmmmm...loveyabye!" Very Regina Green. And then, there's my Dream Team: Rami, Jillian and Kevin. What sweet vindication for Jillian to win this challenge by re-vamping the fashion "don't" that she, herself, was sporting. But, although I love her fashion (overalls included - come on, the belt was cute), that girl is screeeaaaaming for a makeover. If I could just pull a Clueless and get her to the TRESemmé studio for 30 minutes, I know there's nothing wrong with her that a Chi flat-iron and a little bronzer couldn't fix. Anyway, she's a great designer...I told you, bitches! And coming down the runway, I LOVED the nouveauveralls Team J made (the pic doesn't do it justice). I mean like loved them to the point where I am praying they really do come back so I can wear them soon. And the shirt they paired with it was freaking adorable. I agree with the judges - this winner was clear. So congratulations, Team Jillian...A+++ for you.

5 comments:

HP said...

Helene, I love your sassy style. Keep up the good work. I do worry that you may not be getting your beauty sleep -- blogging at 4 something a.m. -- is that wise?

lach said...

squinty--has adult aspberger's i'm pretty sure. that's why he's a misfit. (I feel like being in medical school gives me some qualification to make that statement, but really, it doesn't)

love the blog.

scrappydont said...

ricky the s&m-clad crybaby is the new wendy pepper. i was incredibly disappointed to not see him kicked to the curb last night.

and nobody else thought donna karan looked absolutely terrifying last night? she always looks like she's just blown in from an all-night bender.

The Modern Gal said...

Spot on, my friend.

Piper said...

Foreign exchange students - awesome!