"Do I think it's pretty? No."

You know how sometimes, you don’t truly realize how much you miss someone, until you finally get to see them again? Yeah…that’s how I feel about Michael Kors. It’s just, I’m sorry, but that snarky little man is my everything. Each time I hear him say, “she turned the corner,” I writhe in anticipation of the verbal onslaught about to befall his unwitting prey. He just makes this show for me.

Having said that, um...the bitch is out of his friggin gord! He thinks “a girl's gonna really wanna wear” THIS?

Pardonnez-moi, Michelle, however, I am a girl (and a fairly girly one at that), but you couldn’t pay me to trot around Manhattan with coffee filters on my boobs. (False: you so could. But I’m on the brink of incurring massive student loan debt, so don't judge.) Who exactly would WANT to wear that dress?! The skirt, maybe, okay...it kind of looks Anthro, actually. And the hooks made out of notebook rings? Um, yes…talk about innovation. But the TOP! For the love of God, judges, THE TOP! It's burnt coffee filters with some sort of perverse, peekaboo triangle! I’m not saying don’t give Kelli the silver, because, sure, she deserves at least that….but first prize totally should’ve gone to my boy Daniel. His buxom beauty worked the hell out of those solo cups, and ya know, given the right circumstance, that just might be something a girl would want to wear...

The "right circumstance," being some sort of Jetsons-themed sorority function, but still.

Also, remember when I said that Kelli deserved the silver? I lied. Daniel deserved second, and KENLEY deserved immunity! But, alas, she wasn't even in the top 3! Wassup, Nina?! This photo doesn't do her creation justice, and, in my opinion, her snubbing is a travesty on par with Jillan's exclusion in the menswear challenge...

PS calls BS...HELLO – that’s a couple of lawn chairs and a dodge ball up there, people! So, for the best combination of wearable and innovative, my vote goes to Miss Kenley. Congrats, love.

And who should’ve been auf’d? Well, therein Michael found his sanity...albeit through his description of a mad scientist. MK's face after describing this outfit was PRICELESS (we're working on the screenshot, of course). Lest ye forget, he and Nina said Jer's creation looked "like what you’d wear if you were gonna kill someone.” That’s Kors gold. Just brilliant. Also, dead on. The model was so, clearly pissed about wearing those gloves; she looked on the verge of a murderous rampage.

Aside from that, I can’t even get IN to Blayne and Stella right now....there are too many words....

I've so much more to say on the models, the mayhem, and the Michael, but I simply must get to bed. I’m seeing the inventor of the Interwebs tomorrow, and I have got to look good when I thank him for making this blog possible...

Sleep tight, stunnas.