TGIWednesday

OMG it's finally Wednesday! What a wonderful gift that we have PR right smack in the middle of the week... really breaks up the monotony. Here are my predictions, thoughts and hopes for tonight:

Carmen: Listen, my first impression of you was that you were really cool and intimidating. However, you have proven to be less cool, and more blah than I hoped. Based on your bio and interview, I think you must have something cool up your sleeve... PLEASE bring it this week with something fierce. You're IN.

Chris: You are so sweet and nice. Maybe too nice? I appreciate a person who finds it hard to be mean (I'm the same way in real life), but I hope you're still looking out for numero uno. This is a competition for you as well. You're IN.

Christian: your attitude is actually hilarious and you've got some of the best quotes so far this season. I mean, the way you brush aside Tim's concerns about your outfits with a casual, "I think I'm fine" is a true study in self esteem. Keep on doing what you do, but just don't come cryin' to me when you get auf'd for not listening. You'll be IN for at least one more week.

Elisa: this week I hope to see something that's not poly-morphic. Can you do that for me? Not sure. You might be ouwt.

Jack: I know there are still a ton of designers left, so it's hard to get camera time, but let's see more of you this week, dahling. You're IN.

Jillian: I still don't like you. And I like you even less because I agree with Marthe that you are like a stealth airplane - laying low until at least two of my fav designers get auf'd. I will give you props for wearing a hat or headband or whatever that was on your head last week and covering up that 1997 mop you have on your head. I'm sure you'll be invisibly IN.

Kevin: I think I may like you mostly for your smile and your (blue?) eyes. I'm predicting you'll be IN this week. Yawn.

Kit: You're growing on me, I'll have to say. In your into interviews I wasn't really into the whole, "I'm cute like Debbie Harry" thing. But you've done well for yourself. You'll be IN.

Rami: Meh. you're good. You know you're good, but you just say it with your eyes instead of with your mouth like Christian. Just as annoying, in my opinion! I will eat Ricky's hat if you aren't IN tonight.

Ricky: Speaking of you and your hats... what the eff? Honestly, it's been bothering me all season. Are you a railroad conductor? A cop? A stripper-cop? I don't get it. With all the crying you've been doing, you may be auf tonight.

Steven: I liked that suit you made in Ep1 and I like you red-headed model. I think you'll have to really prove you've got something to avoid being in the bottom 2 this week. Wash that raggedy Marion out of your hair and bring on the glam or else you'll be ouwt!

Sweet P: So far you really have been "sweet" but Mean P is bound to come out soon. Love it. You're IN.

Victorya: You know you're the shizz. IN and WINNER (again)!

See you bitches on the runway.

Ralph Lauren called

Maybe if I'm really preppy I MEAN quiet, no one will notice that I'm here.

"Project Runway Four."

"Hey. It's me Ralph Lauren."

"Hey Ralph. Nina Garcia. I'm just hanging out with Michael Kors. Oh, and Heidi Klum & Seal."

"Perfect."

"Cool."

"You guys have one of my illustrators."

"RL! I don't think so."

"Oui. She's the one flying dangerously under the radar. Also, she named her model after me."

"Ohhhhh... Kevin. No? Sorry Ralph Lauren. It's Wednesday. We're going to have to call you back."

Crocodile tears will get you everywhere, daahling.

Mid-Week Fantasy Update: I know….I know… I need to come to terms with the fact that Jack is just not scoring Team DVSW any points. But he is just too beautiful & sensitive for me to kick off the team! Perhaps I will give him one more week to make it work before trading him out for Chris March. As for the rest of the team, I knew Sweet P was going to be a good choice for week 2 because the previews had her in tears, but my co-worker tried to tell me that she would be the Cincinnati Bengals of Project Runway: performs well in the beginning, gets me all psyched, and inevitably falters and leaves me hitting my head against my desk. But check out my score report:

3 points SWEET P : Personally saying "make it work"
3 points SWEET P : Crying
1 points RAMI : Saying "vision"

Welllllllll snap! In your face, Andy – this week Sweet P had 6 points and Ocho Cinco had 18. OH MY GOD I AM THE WINNER! Well, not really…but I am not as much of a loser as last week…hooray! This stratgery of picking the weepiest contestant has clearly steered me in the right direction, but don’t think I’ll be choosing Carmen anytime soon just because she is Captain Criesalot – no amount of tears could overcome the fug she exudes on the runway.

In non-PR news, did you hear it was Thanksgiving? Well, it totally was, and that means Christmahanukwanzaakah is just around the corner! Now for anyone feeling generous, here’s my shopping list in pictures:





Man, Heidi has like 11 lines of Jewelry out right now. There’s the uber-cheap QVC line, the top-shelf Mouawad line, and now, the middle-of-the-road Runway Line – in which she sells the jewelry she wears in each episode on heidiklum.com. This is a fantastic discovery, which I shall immediately forward to Monsiuer et Madame du Blonde for December 25th purposes…

Aaaand finally, I hope you all caught Ms. Klum on How I Met Your Mother last night. It was a hilarious episode, and she was adorable in it (though she mentioned eating mini-burgers, which I am fairly sure she does not)...

iTunes it if you missed it!

"Fashion shouldn't be a luxury."

Oh SJP, truer words have never been spoken. How many times have I seen something super adorable, the actual purchase of which would not have been compatible with my desire to continue to live indoors. For example, those cute little pointy-toed plum flats that would have matched my favorite clutch but still cost $80 on sale and I was only working part time so it just wasn't a good time to be buying frivolous shoes. Gah! I still think about those and that was at least two years ago. Anyway, I love that SJP is so sensitive to working girls with a penchant for fashion. I think it must be because she is from Ohio. Salt of the earth, ya know?


Moving on. I loved how nervous all the designers were when they were pitching their ideas to SJP! Chris March looked like he was totally in lurve and starstruck. Poor Kevin was so flustered on his way out that he left SJP hanging on the handshake (of course, she played it off with ease and charm -- it was a very Carrie moment, I thought). Even Carmen, who was all bossy and in my opinion tacky throwing her name out there, seemed a little rushed and agitated. Who wouldn't be?!


As usual, Elisa provided us with some classic reality tv moments. Her "spit marking" technique was obviously silly, and although I do not have much (any) sewing experience, it doesn't seem like a very accurate or long-lasting way to mark fabric. I actually loved the way Sweet P and Elisa worked together. Sweet P had the patience of a saint and really tried hard to make sure her outfit was good, regardless of her partner. It was refreshing to see that even a mis-matched team can make it work.


And now, the runway.


Elisa: can we get a new color next week? I've had enough of the teal, thank you. I do love the cape though, and if you had won I maybe would have driven to whatever random strip mall in Maryland is home to Steve & Barry's to pick one up. Well done. One thing about the model here... what's going on? It looks like she's having trouble straightening her legs or something.



Ricky and Jack were also good together, though I have a few problems with the styling of their model. Not sure about those boots, and the hair... meh. But I do like the color and the belt is tres cute.



Kit Pistol, Chris M., Rami and Jillian, may I have a word with you please? I do not like leggings as pants. To me, it is just not chic. Don't get me wrong - I love love love the thick tights that are in style now. If you put a boot with the leggings (so as to hide them), or tights with heels, or pants, or ANYTHING else you may have won:


I mean, wouldn't these outfits have been much cuter with sweet little above the ankle stovepipe pants? Or I even think really wide-leg pants could work. So many things would have been better! Leggings are just sooooo, I dunno... lazy looking? Workout-esque? Unflattering? (Seriously. Unless one is totally toned, one's derriere is going to look squishy at best in leggings.) BAD!

I'm interested to see what this "hardest challenge ever" is going to be here in Ep 3. What in the world will they come up with next? Ahh, that's why we love PR. See you on the runway.

Aw, Ricky you're so fine, you're so fine why are you crying all the time baby boi?

SJP proves once again that she can really turn on the faucet. First Chris March is crying (he's cute), then Ricky's crying, Carmen's crying, Ricky again. So emotional. But can I just say how much I like all the designers so far this season? I would much rather them all be crying, all the time, every episode, than watch another Wendy Pepper ruin everyone's life with her horrible clothes and personality. These designers are great. Group hug.

This episode was a team episode and team episodes just kill me. I'm always nervous they will eliminate the entire team, especially when Heidi says, "And tonight ... (extremely long pause) ... one or more of you ... will be auwt."

One or more?! Oh noooooo! Not what I want to hear considering that team episodes inevitably end in disaster, usually, we have learned, for the leader. Project Memory Lane: Jeffrey & Angela's mom... Chloe, Kara & Daniel Franco.... Wendy Pepper & Kevin...

But only Marion was auf'd. He's a sweetheart and I was sorry to see him go. He looked so sad, and unlike Christian he didn't get salty with SJP or try to blame her for his terrible outfit. Maybe I will buy some flowers from his flower shop. Ahahaa just kidding his "flower shop" is cool-looking and probably super expensive. Oh Marion Lee, our time together was too short, like a rosebud that never blossomed due to a late spring frost.

Moving on. Elisa, I love you. Go ahead girl. True weirdos will always be OK in my blog because of their special ability to expose some cool people as ... well, not so cool. Sweet P.'s attitude was pretty bad when she was paired with Elisa. One could say her mind was so narrow you couldn't ride a Hells Belles motorcycle through it. Why the 'tude, P.? Is Elisa really that weird? I don't know. She seems OK to me. I've seen weirder. I thought Heidi was kind of condescending to her also. If someone says she is from another planet in episode 3 I am writing a letter. Annoooying.

My favorite outfit was mos def Victorya's. Aaaagain. Love it. Love her.

IDK...my BFF, SJP?

I would just like to say that if you did not gasp, cry, and/or applaud when Sarah Jessica Parker walked into the deisgn studio, this blog is not for you.  My own personal reaction was an OMG audible to the neighbs, followed by several utterances of GET OUT, and my face looked about like our friend Jack here.  I mean...Best.  Guest Judge.  Ever.  But at the same time, it was sort of weird seeing Carrie Bradshaw off the set of Sex and the City.  It felt kind of like seeing your teacher outside of school...they're not supposed to exist outside the classroom! And Carrie's not supposed to exist outside of my dvd collection.  It was weird.  

Carrying on - In case you missed it, the challenge was to get in teams of 2 and design an outfit for SJP's Bitten clothing line with a budget of (gasp!) fifteen smackeroos. With all that in mind it's no surprise this episode unfolded into something resembling a Forever 21 challenge.  Every outfit looked like something I would buy for super cheap at XXI, wear once, then never really bust out again.  The colors, the cuts....it was all just so the-mall-at-Pentagon-City.

But while the guest judge totally shocked me, the judging itself was pretty predictable.  I mean...the outfit Carmen helped with turned out to be retro?!  NO WAY.  Victorya designed something pleasing to the lead character of Sex and the City?!  GET OUT.   Elisa acted like she was from another planet?  STFU!   People are really falling into their roles now.  And speaking of roles, I have developed a theory that Christian is not a real person - he is just Chris Kattan posing as a flamboyant fashion designer to pull a prank on Bravo.
It's totally possible, think about it - CHRIStian! And NBC and Bravo are partners, plus COME ON they look like they were separated at birth.  All he had to do was change the hair on his Corky Romano character, and voila - c'est Christian!  Well, you're not fooling me, Mr. Peepers.  We'll just see how long you can keep this up... 

But they're all still in, so let's talk about who's out.  Ooooh, Marion.  Your designs were nowhere near as delish as your pizza.  MK compared this week's loozer to Cousin It, Heidi went with Pocahantas, but personally, I felt that this fugness was more akin to an extra from Braveheart.  And although that is one of my favorite movies eva, I was not a fan of this design. Marion, let's talk. You knew you were getting eliminated, and I have no idea why last week's disaster didn't get you auf'd.  But how DARE you parade that shiz in front of my idols Carrie Bradshaw and NEENAGAHCEEAH?  It's just disrespectful, and you deserved to go last week anyway, so Marion, pal...au revoir from me to you.

And P.S. your model sucks.

Lighten up, it's just fashion!

Allison Kelly was one of my fav designers from PR3. I thought she was so cute and really talented and it was garbage that she was eliminated basically because her model was "too fat." To be fair, I think they described her as being "bigger than the other models" or something nice like that. The silly bow hair was her choice, but Allison should have made it much further in the season and obviously someone crappy like Angela or Vincent should have gone first.

I mean... this is bad:

But isn't this worse:

Ugh. Okay, but back to why this matters for this season... Allison is now a featured blogger on bravotv.com and will be commenting on the designs and designers on PR4.

At first I was really excited to hear more from Allison. But then I read her post:

"Ciao!
I am not a blogger by nature. I despise the negative energy which proliferates throughout the cyber world, but when asked to contribute to Bravo, I decided it would be quite fun to analyze the designs from season 4 from the other side of the runway. My approach is simply analytical, I want to create a positive dialogue about design and nothing less."


WHATEVER Allison. Thanks for making me fee like a bad person for being "negative" in the "cyber world." Lighten up, it's just fashion!

More from Allison: She liked Christian's design, which makes me think he may stick around longer than I originally expected him to. Good luck young man. She also agrees with me and Heidi about Simone's color choices being "smart & modern." It even seems she may think the wrong designer was sent home in this first ep:


"I love acid yellow in detailing, it looks far more chic than a model tripping over a malange of fabric scraps."

HahahahahahaHAAA! Even sweet Allison who is trying to keep it all positive can't resist a little jab at that fugly, poo-ing dress of Elisa's.

Tomorrow I'll be looking for Kevin to step it up a bit. Carmen, you're on my auf list until you show me something cute. Victorya, Steven, carry on with the good stuff. Based on the previews, it looks like a team-based challenge this week, which historically means there's going to be a lot of ugly up on the runway and a lot of drama in the design room. Woot! I'm ready for ep2!