Saturday, January 26, 2008

Just-washed-jeans Yoga and other injustices

That’s it. I’m giving up TV for Lent. I am apparently so easily duped by the editing choices of the PR producers, I actually felt sorry for Ricky at the beginning of this week’s episode. Ohh Ricky, I thought, that sucks to always be in the bottom three. When you’re auf’d tonight, get out there and show the lingerie world how to work it!

Oh the audacity of hope! Ricky is crying out of joy and whatever else makes him cry usually! The judges loved his dress. We know that MK, Nina and Heidi "the boobs are all in the wrong place" Klum appreciate fit, but in this case, I agree with my sisters, the fit shouldn't have determined the winner. Also, doesn't like, mostly everything fit models because they are models? I imagine that when they take measurements, the designers are like, "Oh, I see. You're model size." I don't know, to me Ricky's dress looked very Wet Seal. Hélène and Maud are a bit more generous but not much.

So yeah, except for Wednesdays at 10 (I'm not that upset), I'll be spending my evenings reading Shakespeare, or that other Bard-- what's his name-- Tim Gunn, and maybe some Orwell to protect myself from the evils of the telescreen. When Heidi told Chris March he was safe, leaving Jillian and Victorya in the bottom two, I realized that the tube had finally got the best of me: BravoTV is now more cynical than I am, and I’m a liberal in Washington, DC! Maybe it has always been this way and I’m only just realizing it. Either way—Bravo, I am hip to your tricks. Obviously, Ricky and his hats are going to fashion week, and the more he cries and it looks like he’s going home, the more money I will put on this bet. (I hope mon amie Hélène is not as clairvoyant as she is wise.)

I guess this is why they call it the Stunway, people. But come on, Victorya and Jillian hanging on in the bottom two? I’m sorry but… really? Not Chris March? God bless him (clearly a fan favorite) but CM was already given a second chance, a big one, and he should have gone home if he really was in the bottom three, LOATH as I am to say it. These judges are more unpredictable than the New Hampshire Democratic primary polls.

I really hope that the best designers do not auf each other each week until the competition of is devoid of talent and the Republicans take over again and that’s it, I’m moving to Project Runway: Canada! The designers should take a hint from the Republicans and stick together, even if they run out of time and have to use crazy glue. (Emphasis on crazy.)

"Oh Rudy, you are so hilarious, even if you do hate babies."

Although Christian needed to cool it on the jeans bashing, his look was probably my favorite. "And no stretch," says Michael Kors. "No stretch," says Christian Siriano. Yeah, "no stretch" in this case means you know Lisa was practicing some just-washed-jeans- yoga to get into those babies. I believe this pose is called the fiercest-facing dog. She looked hot, and I like that Christian made jeans out of jeans, instead of a dress, or even worse, a wedding dress. I know Sweet P. just got married like last week but, a wedding dress? What about that dirty warehouse made her think of weddings? Probably the same part of her brain that decided she should mess with Rami or get the face piercing.

The capital L-for-Levi's-losers for this challenge were, in my opinion, Rami, Chris March and Ricky for lack of creativity and originality.

Imagine the horror if these three showed up at the same party? Actually we don't have to imagine it because Bravo took a picture for us:

Now... about that preview for next week. What could scandalize Michael Kors so? Clowns? Children? Child clowns?

I can't wait to find out!


Hélène du Blonde said...

Bahahaha! Just-washed-jeans yoga + fiercest-facing-dog = why I love you.

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