Sunday, January 20, 2008

You wanna be on top?

Every week when Tim Gunn says -- during that weird, scripted montage before the show starts -- "WHO will be the next big fashion designer?" I am reminded of why we are here. I mean, why they are here. I mean, why they are there. Anyway, if we trust Tim Gunn (the most trusted name in fashion on this one show called Project Runway) it is for the chance to become America's next top American designer! Top! As in, the best! As in, totally awesome. I can't claim to know what it actually takes to get there, but I have a feeling the special ingredients do not include two tablespoons of never stepping up to the plate.

"It's just a reminder that I've got a lot of work to do. I'll miss Kevin, but I'm glad it's not me. Hahahaha." -- Ricky, on the prom challenge.

"It just worked out naturally that I would be the team leader because it's basically my concept, and Ricky is trying really hard to not lose."-- Kit, on being team leader in the couture challenge.

Sigh. I guess I just think if these designers want to be the best, they should act like it! I mean, what would Tyra say?

"Seven beautiful designers stand before me. But I have only six photos in my hands. I will call only six names. The girl whose name I do not call must immediately clean up her workstation, and go home.

Christian: Congratulations Christian. You are still in the running towards becoming America's next top American designer. We believe in you, but more importantly, you believe in you. You believe in you more than is maybe healthy or in line with reality. Fierce. Ferosh. Love it.

Rami: You are the most beautiful designer we have ever seen on this show. You can stay. Watch your 'tude because it makes you look less totally fine.

Chris March: Your text messages to your favorite blogger and fan-favorite 'tude have kept you alive, but it won't carry you forever. However, you know, perhaps better than anyone, that every woman is a queen. You're still in the running towards becoming American's next top American designer.

Jillian: You were hiding under your 550-thread-count RL bedsheets for too long at the beginning of this season, but you've come a long way. Your apocalyptic jacket and dramatic poses are deadly. Keep it up.

Victorya and Jillian: Determining who is team leader by tossing an object of unevenly distributed weight in the air is not very bossy of you. Also, those khaki pants were weird. But you're in. Congratulations.

Sweet P. and Ricky, will you please step forward.

Sweet P.: Why are you not doing everything that Rami tells you immediately and succumbing entirely to his freakouts? Know your place. Rami wanted to drape his love all over your team, and you responded by crying and resisting his obvious gift for team leadership. And how can you resist Rami? Those eyes! Also, no more mention of Elisa's planet, or I will put you on a spaceship, and send you there myself.

Ricky: Your passive-aggressive ways have saved you one too many times. Not losing is not the same as being totally fierce and kicking booty. Do you want to put a piece of Ricky Lizalde lingerie on every woman in America or not?"

More recap to come, biddies.


Hélène du Blonde said...

The Top Model song has been stuck in my head since the moment I read this.

Na na na na na, na na na na na.

lachstyles said...

Thanks for posting this. My frustration at Ricky's continued success is slowly eating away at my med school career.

Well, not really, but its getting to be as bad as she-of-the-ugly-flowers-who-shall-not-be -named from last season.